*This blog was published last October 2008 in my Multiply account.
Ever since Elementary and High School, I wanted to be enrolled in a prestigious school in Davao; I went to Maryknoll H.S. of Panabo City. It is where I learned how to be competitive and excel. I was a consistent honor student, a member of different organizations, part of student government and even an officer of CAT.
My cousins and friends excelled in different fields; music, dancing, modeling, sports, etc. while I am the so-called “lampayatot” (weak and thin). I was not inclined to any sports (thank God I’m a cheerleader, I have an excuse every time they tease me for not being physically active). Whenever there are sports fests in our village, all of my friends and cousins are out in the field playing different sports, while I’m inside a room playing mind games (scrabbles, word bugle, quiz bees, etc.) They can all sing and play different musical instruments while music never loved me (again I thank God I’m a theater performer, I’ve got something to show off as a talent)… I’m totally different from my cousins and other children at my age, and the one thing that separates me from the rests… I am the most competitive among them all.
I’m a competitive student, but I never compete with my cousins, friends and classmates… I compete with myself. Ever since the day I could remember I entered school, I’m already conscious with my grades, recognitions, awards, medals, certificates, etc. All I want is to have high grades; I was never satisfied with a 99 for I always aim for a perfect 100.
During senior year in high school, I only have one choice of school for college and that is University of the Philippines while my cousins and close friends are in Ateneo. Fortunately, I passed the UP CAT (UP College Admission Test) but my relatives and my mom won’t allow me to enter UP, they were afraid that I may become an activist or become a member of fraternities, so I ended up enrolling myself with my cousins and friends in Ateneo de Davao University.
(my dream University)
Before the start of my class in College, my mom called me, telling me that she wanted me to live with her here in Manila, and so I cancelled my enrolment in Ateneo, and flew here in Manila. It was already June, Colleges and Universities are already closed (no school is open for me anymore), my mom asked her friend which is the Dean of West Bay College to accept me, so I enrolled and stay in that college for a year but then I needed to transfer for I was not satisfied with the kind of education they have there.
CONFUSION, FEAR and HATRED ruled over me on those times that I am in search for a school to transfer; confused if I would still pursue BS Nursing for I never liked the course. Fear of being rejected by the new people I’m going to deal with. Hatred for my mom because I blamed her that if only she let me enter UP or continue my studies in Ateneo maybe I’m already happy and satisfied with my college life. In those times, I cried pails of tears, I packed up all my things and called my relatives in Davao to prepare a plane ticket for me, I was not talking to my mom for almost a week for I really hated her for ruining my first year in College.
One night, my mom entered my room, asking me to choose between Manila Doctors College and Philippine Women’s University for my new school, I have no idea that there is an existing Manila Doctors College (all I know is Davao Doctors College), then my mom told me that it’s better to enroll in MDC…having no choice I enrolled there.
(the school where God wants me to be)
For a year, I enjoyed my stay in MDC, I found good friends whom I hang out, party, and get away with; but despite all those happenings, I’m still the competitive grade conscious student. Not until last summer (April 2008), during the Youth For Christ – International Leaders Conference in Tagaytay City when God talked to me, saying: “Faye, bring Youth For Christ in your Campus…” during those times I feel like I was Moses talking to God in the burning bush, ASHAMED AND DOUBTFUL, I answered God: “Lord, who am I that I should do this?” and He replied, “You are only my instrument, it is I who will work in your campus.”
And just like what God did to Moses, He provided me everything I needed for my mission. He gave me Cy who shared with me the same vision for YFC – MDC, we worked together in this mission. From five members (Cy, Mark, Aireene, Lea, and Me) we reached 250 plus members who signed up for YFC, in those times I remembered what God told his disciples: “Follow me and become a fisher of men.”
It is overwhelming, every time MDC students approach me, asking me how they can join YFC, telling me how happy they were during fellowships and assemblies, texting me for updates of the next YFC activities. For five months time, I have been so blessed not by material possessions, nor by worldly gifts but by different people who became not just good friends but my family.
Wonderful things happen to those who obey the Lord, and these are the things that happened to me, as I obeyed God:
- I became closer to my mom.
- I’m not weak anymore for God is my strength.
- I begin to love music not to show off but to sing praises and worship for God.
- I was not competitive anymore; however, God is my competence.
- I’m not guilty anymore for not pursuing UP; nor envy my cousins and friends who are enjoying College life in Ateneo.
- And the best part of it, despite of my services in YFC, I still manage to have good grades.
I may feel unworthy with all these blessings but God called me to be worthy.
Now, I believe that God called me in this place, because he has great plans for me here in Manila Doctors College.