I had battled my emotions last week, my faith was somehow shaken and tested, and I keep on asking God a lot of Why and Why Not.
Here are some of my Why Lord? questions:
- Why do innocent people gets accused for the wrongs they haven’t done?
- Why do we have to ask for forgiveness for the wrongs that we haven’t done?
- Why do we have to be humble?
- Why continue to love those who have hurt us?
and here are my Why Not Lord? questions:
- Why should I not be confronting?
- Why not tell all my feelings?
- Why not hate them?
I have a lot of questions right? But God answered me just once, He points me to the cross, and all the answers are there – Jesus.
- Because an innocent man was crucified not for His sins (Matthew 27:32-44). Jesus was innocent, yet He was accused. Did He justified Himself? Did He reasoned out that He was not guilty? No, He didn’t.
- Because even though the people condemned Him, He asked God to forgive them, saying “Forgive them father for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
- Because He is a God yet for my sins He became a man, to save me and rescue me. He humbled Himself. (Philippians 2:8)
- Because He endured the cross for my sins for He loves me and that I love Him too, and He said, “If you love me keep my commands.” (John 4:15) His command was to love your enemies (Luke 6:27), and so I must obey.
- Because Jesus too remained silent. Jesus could have reasoned out to Herod yet He remained silent. (Luke 23:9)
- Because as the prophet Jeremiah said it “I know, O LORD, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.”(Jeremiah 10:23), and so I let God lead my decisions and actions, and lean not own my understanding and feelings.
- Because Jesus said, “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44)
Come Tuesday last week, I had my T4V class and a privilege to talk to my mentor, Ate Rina, she reminds me that Jesus humbled Himself for me, and as a Christian I must also live the way Jesus live. “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps. (1 Peter 2:21). Pastor John, our teacher for last Tuesday session, said “If you have experienced true forgiveness then it will be easy for you to forgive without effort.” And my classmate and VG sister, Jeanette, reminded me of “Be slow to anger and be quick to forgive.”
Looking back in my past life, the word SORRY was out of my dictionary, but then now, sorry came out of my heart naturally when I found out that I have hurt someone without me knowing why and how.
If I am still living in my past life, I wouldn’t say sorry then I am sure I could have hurt more and that I am still hurt. Pride could have eat me inside and consumes me little by little that anger could grow and overflow in my heart.
But I thank the Lord (and will be forever grateful) that I have been saved and forgiven in Jesus; and because of that forgiveness, I could forgive easily “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). My heart was and is still free of pain, anger, and hurt. “For if the son sets you free, you are free indeed” (John 8:36).
I must forgive because I have been forgiven.
Pride and bitterness may knock at my door a thousand times, but Jesus is in me and with Him and like Him, I will ask for forgiveness, pray for those who have hurt me, and love those who hate me.
God didn’t said that as I follow Him I will become lovable and there will be no enemies along the way. Its the same as saying we will live a storm free life in Christ, but God didn’t promised that kind of life. However, He equipped us with the blood of Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith (Hebrews 12:2), and in Him, we will be storm proof. Life with Jesus will not be easy, but it is worth it.
I am not the same anymore, in Jesus I am a new creation. My old unforgiving, greedy, and pride-full life is gone, I may look back it, but God called me to fix my eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2) and remember what He has done for me on the cross. With this thing that happened to me last week, indeed, all I could say is that the old me was gone and the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17).
I am grateful for this change of heart, attitude, and actions, but above all, I’m glad that God never fails to let me feel loved despite there are times just like last week when my faith in Him was shaken. In times like this, prayers, His words, and Godly people that surrounds me is all that I need to stand firm and be reminded that I am not the same old me, but I am new.