Like an Accident

A personal reflection on Psalm 139 

My mom had me at the age of 20, I may see myself as an unwanted and unplanned child like a tragedy and an accident to the life of my mother. However, I was 15 years old when my mom send me a message saying, “You are not an accident.”

When I finished college as a scholar and with countless achievements since grade school, I teased my mom saying, “I’m the most beautiful disaster in your life”, she just laughs. My mom was right, I am not an accident. There may be people who looked down on her when she had me at an early age, but I grow up hearing praises from different people to mom for having me as a daughter. For 22 years, I know, I lived a life that my mom can’t regret but a life that she can boast.

I believe God didn’t played dice when she picked my mom to have me and the different people who had been part of my life. God arranged everything.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

God planned me. He knows how many hair strands I will have, the size of my shoes, the school that I will go, the friends that I will meet, the thoughts that I have written, the places that I will be visiting, the man that I will marry, and the kids that I will have. He knows everything. I can’t hide anything from Him, for where I am there he will be, Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 

I can never run away from Him, I may be lost but He knows how to find me. You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. No one can ever escape God, for He knows everything – our hearts, thoughts, ways, even our so-called secrets.

I am not an accident, no one is, for God orchestrated everything. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

At times that I feel insignificant or not beautiful, I would look at myself in the mirror and say, “I’m a reflection of God, for I am created in the image and likeness of God; I am a princess, for I am the daughter of the King; I am beautiful, for I am fearfully and wonderfully madeEven before God created the heavens and the earth, I know and believe, that He had me in mind.

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