An open letter for my Goddaughter…

My beloved Faith Scarlet,

Today, Facebook reminds me that your mom & I are friends for 6 years already, but we are more than just FB friends. Your mom was my thesis buddy, my closest classmate, my travel sponsor, my movie marathon/sleep over company, my ‘Ondoy’ conqueror, my favorite photographer & cheerleader, thereby making her my BF (best friend).

There was a time when I almost punch a man by making her cry (I’ll tell you who that man was when you’re older). I could also kill myself when I made your mom cry at the mountain top.

Maybe you’re wondering why am I telling you this? This is because you are our lives game changer!

I first heard about you on February 2, 2015, and you really made me cry sweetheart. My selfishness overwhelmed me. I asked – What about my plans with your mom? How could we see the world together now that you are existing? How about your mother’s dreams?

What made matters worse was when she told me that you are a ‘she’. Your mom knows I prefer sons. Honestly, I hated the thought that she’s pregnant with you, not until…

I woke up one morning and your mother texted me that she was already on labor, I stopped myself from crying after we exchanged our “I Love You’s”. God knows how much I fear your fragile mom giving birth to you and the fact that I wasn’t there beside her. At 7:00pm on that same day, I tried to call your mom, but instead of hearing her voice, I heard your loudest cry. I cannot help it. You made me cry again.

I flew in to Palawan just to see you darling, and as I lay my eyes on you, all I can ever say is that you are worth all the tears and heartaches your mom and I have shared. You are a blessing to us. I wouldn’t mind not seeing your mom fulfilling her dreams soon or not traveling with her in exchange of having you.

You made me appreciate your mom even more. The moment I saw her breastfeeding you, I was scared. Scared that she might not endure it anymore, like when she’s doing the pump thing; I can’t look at her because I can’t cry right in front of her (that’s a protocol for nurses). There’s also this one morning when I woke up beside her, and I panicked because I thought she was suffocating you when in fact she was only keeping you warm.

To be honest, I wanted to take both of you and bring you along with me back to Manila. I can be a self-centered woman at times, but I trust in God’s plans for the three of you (you, your mom & dad). I can only pray for the best.

You are now three months Faith. How time flies! Time will come that you’ll crawl, walk and run along your home’s big backyard. But, there’s one thing I will only ask of you as long as you live – love my bf/your mother. Both of us will never know how much she loves you.

Happy 3rd month Baby Faith Faith! You are loved!

Until I see you again,
Ninang Faye Faye!

P.S. I realized how your mom loves me so much when she named you. 😉