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The God of my pain

A week ago, I witnessed another awesome creation of God in Nagsasa Cove, Zambales. Everything in that place was picturesque. The sunset, the sea, the rock formations, the surrounding mountains, the pine trees, and the skyline were nothing less than perfect. In this paradise, my heart never fails to declare how great and awesome my God is. How majestic are the works of His hands. In fact, I wasn’t able to count how many times I sang Cris Tomlin’s Indescribable and Hillsong’s Oceans.
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It is indeed very easy to worship God when we are in a place of paradise, when our wallets are full, when we are promoted at work or received a raise, whenever we are with our loved ones, or when we have what we’ve been praying for. When everything goes according to plan, we say, “God is good!”

But, how about when we are faced with difficulties, when we lose a job or a loved one, when the place where we are feels like hell, filled with torment and pain? Would it be easy to say, “God is good!” Or, will we be the ones who ask, “Where is God in my suffering?”

Before we reached Zambales, I was already having an intermittent abdominal pain and throbbing headaches. I tried to self-medicate with analgesics, but to no avail. On our way home Saturday noon, I had a worst headache followed by rounds of vomiting.

I was strong, just as what I thought, but Tuesday came and my tummy aches worsened. I cannot stand straight neither walk properly because of the pain. I endured until Thursday night, the pain along abdomen area was excruciating, my headaches are overwhelming that I cannot even move around my bed. On Friday morning, I decided that I’ll go to the hospital and have this pain checked. My whole abdomen underwent an ultrasound, my heart had a 2D-echo, my urine was tested and follow up tests were scheduled. I was given Proton-Pump Inhibitors as medicines, but still the pain persists.

A week of enduring such an excruciating pain was too much for my body. But, I smiled at the thought that I wasn’t asking where is God in this suffering. It didn’t crossed my mind that maybe God was punishing me or God was teaching me a lesson.

What came and assured me is that God is here inside me. He is worshiped, honored and revered, even in my pain. If someone would ask me, “Where is God when I was in such a pain?” My reply would be, “God is the God of my pain.”  

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. – Isaiah 53:4

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In my strength and in my weakness, God is God. My pain won’t diminish His greatness over my life. In my pleasures and in my pains, I will lift my hands to declare His goodness and love.

Just today, my ultrasound results (from last Friday) show normal internal organs. I’m still waiting for my heart and blood works result. There are still series of tests scheduled to be done on my body. My illness is still to be ruled out. I’m a bit okay now, but there are still the constant visits of pain. My medicines already doubled. But, as I believed, “God is the God of this pain. He is in control and He will always be. What will I fear?”  

GOD IS GOOD, not just in the good times, but ALL THE TIME!

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