Apat na Buwan Pa Lang

Apat na buwan pa lang mula nang tayo’y pinag-isa

Sandali pa lang naman pala

Sa pakiramdam ay sobrang tagal na

Apat na buwan na puno nang iyak at tawa

Nasugatan ng malalim pero kinakaya

Masakit man, nagagawa pa rin magsaya

Apat na buwan pa lang, pero tayo’y sinubok na

Parang quota na agad sa sakit at luha

Sobra pa sa iniyak natin sa isang taon na tayo’y mag-jowa

Apat na buwan pa lang na puno nang aral at alaala

Na isusulat ko sa iba’t ibang tula

Upang baunin natin hanggang sa pagtanda

Apat na buwan pa lang sa pangarap nating lima o anim na dekada

Marami pa tayong isasayaw at ikakanta

Hanggang sa daliri mo’y di na kayang mag-gitara

Apat na buwan pa lang tayong mag-asawa

Ang dami na nating malalim na buntong hininga

Buti na lang nasa Diyos ang ating pag-asa

Apat na buwan pa lang tayong nagsisimula

Malayo pa tayo kahit sa gitna

Pagsubok siguro ay marami pa

Apat na buwan pa lang, may habambuhay pa

Wala namang di kakayanin, ‘di ba?

Hanggang kapit natin ang isa’t isa

Apat na buwan pa lang ang lumipas at nawala,

May mga darating na bukas pa

Haharapin natin lahat na magkasama

Apat na buwan pa lang ngayon, Papa

Marami pang buwan at taon na mamahalin kita

Dahil “hanggang wala nang bukas” ang pangako natin sa isa’t isa

and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh – Mark 10:8


Pray for a Man who Prays

I’m writing this as I’m about to sleep after being prayed over by my fiancé on the phone. My heart is so full, that I just can’t contain how blessed I am to have someone praying for me and with me.

Exactly a month ago, my fiancé went back to his original mission assignment. Ever since the day he left, there is no morning that he missed waking me up with words of encouragement; there is no day that he missed saying “I prayed for you, Mahal”; and there is no night that he did not pray for me over the phone.

I’m not a prayerful woman. In fact, if there’s a ministry in church that I can’t join in that would be the intercessory. I’m not into lengthy prayers. I did not set a specific time for prayers, neither carry with me a list of prayers and petitions. But, I do make sure that I get to have a quiet time to pray and talk to God intently everyday.

Things changed when I started dating out my fiancé. With his line of work, as a Police Officer, I have become prayerful. I need to be his prayer warrior. But more than that, he is leading me closer to God, and I believe it’s enough reason to pray even more.

I’m also not a patient woman. I would easily lose my temper and snap over petty things. One time we were caught in a very stressful situation. I started ranting, complaining, and saying things negatively at my fiancé. Instead of firing back, he held my hand and started praying. I don’t know how to respond to that. Our situation turned upside down. I can’t help but thank him for pointing my focus back to God and not on our circumstances.

I like my fiancé’s cheesy lines, but I love his prayers more. Kilig will fade, but faith and love remains.

When things get tough, a man’s muscles will not guarantee his strength to carry on. But, a man’s faith is an assurance that he will not be shaken.

If you would ask me if I have a “prayerful” characteristic in my husband-to-be checklist, the answer is “no”. Shame on me. But, I’m thankful that God gave me the things I didn’t ask for in a man.

Ladies and Gents, don’t be like me; pray for someone who prays.

Prayer is the way we communicate to God. Isn’t it amazing to have someone who talks to God concerning you?


Surely, Someday

The rain is pouring out

Giving chills to my warm heart

Through the window pane

Thoughts flooded my brain
Maybe somewhere in a faraway land

Someone is meant to hold my hand

To comfort in pains, to correct the wrongs

To breathe fresh air into the lungs
To watch sunsets and sunrise

To dry the tears from my eyes

To share the hopes of tommorow

To connect deeply through the skin down to the marrow
To witness the skies turned gray to clear

To sing lullabies and music to the ear

To witness the blooming and fading of a rose

To bring tickle and aroma to the nose
To cross borders and boulders

To rest my head on his shoulders

To bring out each other’s best

Or to simply lie on his chest
To drink tea, coffee or wine

To wrap his arms around my spine

To share secrets and cooking tips

To bring thousand kisses to the lips
We may be separated now by oceans or just a river

Like blood knows its path to the liver,

I know our feet will find its way

Not maybe, but surely, someday.


DOUBLE – MINDED: Of Cliff Diving and Stubborn Mind to Jump in Doubt

Last week has been an awesome one for me and my friends in the ministry. We have decided to spend the “holydays” at Zambales for camping and a whole lot more. This ‘whole lot more’ includes trekking and rock climbing plus cliff diving under the heat of a Friday noon.

Adventurous as I am, cliff diving has never been part of my to-do list in life. Getting to the cliff was already a challenge, but mind you, I was the very first one among my friends to get to the edge of the cliff, thinking only of getting there but not jumping. My sole intention of going to the cliff was to be with my friends who wanted to cliff dive. However, while we were on the edge of the cliff or the jump off point, a big part of me wants to jump. I was thinking of the fact that I am already there, why not jump, right? This may only happen once. I told my friends that I wanted to jump, so they cheered me up. They were the best cheering crowd ever!

After hours of attempting to jump and empty batteries of cellphones and cameras to capture my moment, I never jumped. I did not take that leap of desire. Fear was there inside me, but it did not consume me. I had faith. The reason why I did not jump was because I don’t have the peace of mind to do so. I even prayed in tongues while on the cliff, forgetting the fact that there were non-believers around us. Deep inside me, I was asking God to give me the go signal. I want to hear the still, small voice that says, “Go, Ram! Jump now!” But, there was none.

Will I jump because I really wanted to, even if I don’t have the peace inside me? Or, will I rest my case and let God smile at me?

I did not surrender easily though. My stubborn mind and strong desire to jump was strong, so I battled with my thoughts. Will I jump because I really wanted to, even if I don’t have the peace inside me? Or, will I rest my case and let God smile at me? There was a time when I really, really aimed to jump, shouting “I’m the queen of the world”, but to my surprise, I still failed to jump. It was as if there was a strong force that stopped and balanced my feet on the edge of the cliff, making me stand still.

My friends were right; I do not have to prove anything to them and to myself.  At the very first place, I reached that cliff without the desire to jump, yet I was only tempted because I was already there. How many humans had this temptation? I know I’m not alone.

Was it easy to give up my desire easily because God is not leading me? Definitely, it was not. I bargained of jumping from the not-so-high jump off point.


There were lot of time that I placed myself in the verge of my desires over the peace within, and many times I jumped off, leading me to sin, regrets, pain and tears. These were the times that I considered the “what if’s” and the “why not God?” These were the times that I am so self-consumed that I dwell on the “I want it” over the “Will this please God?” These were the times that obedience was difficult, yet fulfilling. The cliff diving was just one of these times, and never did I regret that I failed to jump. I had the peace to go down and accept the fact that it wasn’t my moment yet.

I do not know what could have happened to me if I jumped off that high cliff, but one thing I am sure of, I had the peace of mind of not doing it double-mindedly. At the end of it all, I still want to jump off the cliff, maybe next time when my mind is at peace of doing so.

Kerzey, Ben and the rest of them who successfully jumped off the cliff were in full mind of jumping, while I was double-minded. This reminds me of Oswald Chamber’s words,

Never run before God’s guidance. If there is the slightest doubt, then He is not guiding. Whenever there is doubt – don’t.

To dive into fun and excitement could have been very easy, but the consequence of disobedience will be very terrible. The choice will always be ours to make, to jump out of stubborn desire or to stay in peace.


Photo grabbed from


The L.I.F.E. I ought to LIVE!

As I had my quiet time yesterday sipping my coffee in a restaurant near the sea side in Roxas Boulevard, I reflected on my life and if I’m really living it the way God designed it to be. After some deep thoughts and painful convictions, I come up with 4 characters that I ought to live my life with as a woman created in the image and likeness of God.


LOVE – For God so love the world that He gave His only Son, Jesus, who took away my sins and nailed it down at His feet on the cross at calvary. I ought to live a life with love, not because of what God has done for me but for who He is in me.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. -1 John 4:8

INTEGRITY – For God is my shield who washed and covered me with His blood and clothes me with purity and righteousness. I ought to live holy, upright and with integrity, not just because of His blood that purchased me from the power of darkness but for who He is in me.

You are to be holy to me because I, the LORD, am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own. – Leviticus 20:26

FAITH – For God has been so faithful even if I am not. He never turned His face far from me but keeps me on stronghold to the rock, whom all foundations have been laid. I ought to live faithfully being sure of what I hope for and being certain of what I do not see, not just because He never failed to remain in me, but because of who He is in me.

For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. – Psalm 33:4

EXCELLENCE – For God created everything good, pleasing and perfect. He created me, telling me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made no matter how I feel fat and ugly at times. I ought to live an excellent life, giving nothing but my best, not just because He created me excellently but for who He is in me.

O LORD, our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! Who has set thy glory above the heavens. – Psalm 8:1

If Jesus Christ died the death that I should have died, then I ought to live a life that He has lived. I call myself a Christian, not just because of what Christ did for me but for who He is in me – a loving, blameless, faithful, excellent and indescribable God.

I hope after reading this, you’ll be able to list down some characters that describe the life that you are living. I pray that it will be the same characters of Him, who created us in His own image and likeness.


Lamb, Chosen, Blessed.

Chapter 10 (Part I)

He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves.

Here I am, one of the lambs and part of  His flock. Comfortable, secured, and well fed.

A week after my water baptism, a woman prayed for me to be a disciple of God for the next generation; at that time, I was praying to God as well if I would go back to the youth ministry where my faith first spring. Those were the times that I am part of a group were I felt most comfortable, I’m one of the youngest, and I was well taken care of my elder sisters in Christ.

God said, GO!

I responded to God’s call after weeks of praying, I can see a harvest of young individuals every Saturday during our youth service. Who am I not to answer Jesus’ call to disciple. A lamb among the wolves? This is terrible to comprehend, but I will be still or  I am still for I know, God is using me to advance His Kingdom here on earth. Nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, for it was written,

17 The seventy-two returned with joy and said,“Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.

16 “Whoever listens to you listens to me; whoever rejects you rejects me; but whoever rejects me rejects him who sent me.”

22 “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”

The first time I encountered this verse, I feel like “FOR REAL LORD? I am chosen? Kinda like Harry Potter, the chosen one?”

But seriously, the fact that I know God, and  that every day I want to seek and find Him despite the truth that I can’t fully grasp who He is, is more than a proof that Jesus chose me to reveal God. The greatest truth is in Jesus, I met God. Jesus choose to die for me, for me to be with God again.  Jesus said that whoever rejects Him, rejects God; and as I accept Him, it also means I am heading to God, for Jesus said, “No one comes to the Father except through me.”

20 However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

I’m off to heaven, and I’m glad to know that!

When I was a little girl, I’m so thrilled about the idea of heaven and hell,  I really want to go to heaven and I thought that doing good here on earth will make me reach heaven, but Jesus said to me, “Rejoice! For you don’t have to make an effort anymore, just trust me, and your name will be in heaven”.

23 Then he turned to his disciples and said privately, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see. 24 For I tell you that many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.”

Blessed are my eyes and my ears? Jesus was talking to His disciples at this time, but it reaches me. I haven’t seen Jesus but I see miracles, and I haven’t heard Jesus talk but I heard testimonies. There is power in His name that even in this generation I can feel the Lord’s presence. More than 2000 years after Jesus left the earth still His words remain, and He said, blessed are those who hears it. If I am blessed to hear these words, who am I not to share these? I am so much blessed that I want to spread His words to be a blessing as well.

These Chapter is indeed more than overwhelming; summing it up, God sends me out to be a victorious lamb even in the midst of wolves for I am chosen by Jesus to know and be with God again, and I must rejoice for my name is in heaven already and that I am blessed for I know the things that He wants me to know.