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Of Asking What’s Wrong to Finding What’s Right

I’ve been wondering for so many years what’s wrong with me why I’m not in a serious romantic relationship when most girls and women my age are getting engaged, married, and having babies.

I asked myself countless of times, “Pangit ba ako? or Super taba ko na ba?” I’ve been trying to comfort myself with the words, “Matalino naman ako, mabait, at malambing. Masaya din naman ako kasama.” How come I’m not committed yet?

At times I get so used to the idea that being single is fun. I can actually date any guy who would ask me out. I have no commitments. I own my time. I do not have anyone to think of or care about aside from my strong, independent, and stubborn self. But, this train of thoughts do not soothe the longing to be in a relationship and the desire of having someone to have and to hold.

I became a hopeful romantic…

Everywhere I go, I welcome the idea of finding my one true love. I thought of meeting him in a bus or plane ride. Every mountain I hike becomes an easy climb with the thought that maybe he is already there at the peak. Every island is a paradise with the thought that maybe he is also there wandering and looking for me.

I waited, prayed, gave up, stumbled, prayed, and waited again. For years, I was thinking of what I have done wrong, or what’s wrong with me, or if I was looking at the wrong places. In this cycle, God made me see that there is nothing wrong with me, it’s just that it wasn’t the right time yet.

For 8 years, from 2009 to 2016, I have included “to be pursued by a man and be in a relationship” in my faith goals. Every prayer and fasting, I asked God for someone to love and to be loved in return.

Until 2017 came, I intentionally not include being in a relationship in my faith goals, not because I gave up on it or I lose my faith already, but because God impressed on me that getting married and having a family of my own is His plan and promise for my life. So, I don’t have to beg Him for it rather I should trust in His timing.

Lo and behold, when I least expect it, when I thought that the year is ending again and I’m still not in a relationship, and just when I gave up searching for love, love found me.

God moves mysteriously.

God has brought him to me at the right place and the best time possible. He is God’s gift to me, delivered just outside our home on my 28th birthday (literally).

Looking back on why our paths haven’t crossed before…

I started hiking way back 2012 with Mt. Pulag in Benguet as my first mountain while he was busy toiling their land on the other side of the mountain province. That was the closest chance I could get to meet him, if left to my own will and strength. I visited several islands and dive seas, while he was somewhere in the other part of the ocean, training as a diver. I ride commercial bus and planes, while he ride military/police service transportation. He has never been on an island for leisure but he was training in the forests. Most of my time were spent traveling here and there while he spent most of his inside their barracks. There is little to no chance of meeting each other if we will look at it in our own situations and differences.

But, God has His own ways of bringing us together.

Who would have thought that in this archipelagic nation of 7,641 islands, the two of us will share a seat under a beautiful night sky? I still can’t fathom how a man from the mountains of Ifugao (him) and a woman from a penal colony in Davao (me) found our ways to each other. I haven’t computed how many islands have separated us before or how many miles there is, but there’s one thing I know and that is – the world is too small in God’s great and gracious hands.

I’m grateful that as God took our hands, He leads him to me and I to him, so we can have and hold each other’s hands.

[10-27-17 Our first picture together taken after our first jogging around Sunken Garden. This is truly an answered prayer, for I have long been asking God to send someone who will run with me at night.]

God is indeed the One behind every best love story written. I can’t write our own story yet for we are only in the first chapters, but I am sure and is at peace that God has prepared the best plot for us two.

Both of us weren’t totally faithful in our individual seasons of waiting, but God is faithful to lead us to each other, just as He planned it.

I hope that as you read this, most especially if you are a single person, you will be more faithful to God and His perfect plans for your life. Remember that His promises come in His own ways and in His appointed time. He will make all things beautiful in His time.

Trust God in the waiting, in the weeping, in the wandering, and even in your past wrongdoings. Know that He alone can turn the wrongs to rights. He work wonders and write the best love stories. Allow Him to author yours. 😍

The L.I.F.E. I ought to LIVE!

As I had my quiet time yesterday sipping my coffee in a restaurant near the sea side in Roxas Boulevard, I reflected on my life and if I’m really living it the way God designed it to be. After some deep thoughts and painful convictions, I come up with 4 characters that I ought to live my life with as a woman created in the image and likeness of God.

 

LOVE – For God so love the world that He gave His only Son, Jesus, who took away my sins and nailed it down at His feet on the cross at calvary. I ought to live a life with love, not because of what God has done for me but for who He is in me.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. -1 John 4:8

INTEGRITY – For God is my shield who washed and covered me with His blood and clothes me with purity and righteousness. I ought to live holy, upright and with integrity, not just because of His blood that purchased me from the power of darkness but for who He is in me.

You are to be holy to me because I, the LORD, am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own. – Leviticus 20:26

FAITH – For God has been so faithful even if I am not. He never turned His face far from me but keeps me on stronghold to the rock, whom all foundations have been laid. I ought to live faithfully being sure of what I hope for and being certain of what I do not see, not just because He never failed to remain in me, but because of who He is in me.

For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. – Psalm 33:4

EXCELLENCE – For God created everything good, pleasing and perfect. He created me, telling me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made no matter how I feel fat and ugly at times. I ought to live an excellent life, giving nothing but my best, not just because He created me excellently but for who He is in me.

O LORD, our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! Who has set thy glory above the heavens. – Psalm 8:1

If Jesus Christ died the death that I should have died, then I ought to live a life that He has lived. I call myself a Christian, not just because of what Christ did for me but for who He is in me – a loving, blameless, faithful, excellent and indescribable God.

I hope after reading this, you’ll be able to list down some characters that describe the life that you are living. I pray that it will be the same characters of Him, who created us in His own image and likeness.