Apat na Buwan Pa Lang

Apat na buwan pa lang mula nang tayo’y pinag-isa

Sandali pa lang naman pala

Sa pakiramdam ay sobrang tagal na

Apat na buwan na puno nang iyak at tawa

Nasugatan ng malalim pero kinakaya

Masakit man, nagagawa pa rin magsaya

Apat na buwan pa lang, pero tayo’y sinubok na

Parang quota na agad sa sakit at luha

Sobra pa sa iniyak natin sa isang taon na tayo’y mag-jowa

Apat na buwan pa lang na puno nang aral at alaala

Na isusulat ko sa iba’t ibang tula

Upang baunin natin hanggang sa pagtanda

Apat na buwan pa lang sa pangarap nating lima o anim na dekada

Marami pa tayong isasayaw at ikakanta

Hanggang sa daliri mo’y di na kayang mag-gitara

Apat na buwan pa lang tayong mag-asawa

Ang dami na nating malalim na buntong hininga

Buti na lang nasa Diyos ang ating pag-asa

Apat na buwan pa lang tayong nagsisimula

Malayo pa tayo kahit sa gitna

Pagsubok siguro ay marami pa

Apat na buwan pa lang, may habambuhay pa

Wala namang di kakayanin, ‘di ba?

Hanggang kapit natin ang isa’t isa

Apat na buwan pa lang ang lumipas at nawala,

May mga darating na bukas pa

Haharapin natin lahat na magkasama

Apat na buwan pa lang ngayon, Papa

Marami pang buwan at taon na mamahalin kita

Dahil “hanggang wala nang bukas” ang pangako natin sa isa’t isa

and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh – Mark 10:8


That Word. Those Acts. This Blog.

Since this is my 100th blog post, allow me to share how my last Saturday (November 24, 2012) went great and was filled with wisdom. This is also my last blog post,  so pardon me for making this quite lengthy.

Let me start with Grounded and that WORD.

Kuya/Pastor Edrei preached about the Miracle of Salvation. It was an intense preaching on the story of Zacchaeus and his encounter with Jesus (Luke 19:1-10). I already know this story since I’m 4 years old maybe, and since then,  it was just like “let’s welcome Jesus like Zacchaeus.”  Not until I turned 22 and encountered this story with a deeper understanding and realized that this is a story of repentance. (Click this for my first reflection on this story.)

One of the main points of Kuya Edrei’s preaching was “we didn’t choose Jesus, but He chose us”, and I strongly agree with him, for among the crowd who welcomed Him, Jesus was the one who chose Zacchaeus and  not vice versa.

In our Life Group, I asked the girls what was God’s message to them with the story of Zacchaeus. With their permissions, here are their replies,

Bea: “Zacchaeus,  ‘chief’ (given emphasis) tax collector, big time sinner, BUT big time or small time sinner, its just the same. We are all sinners, and we all need Jesus. “

Rachel: “God has plans; it is up for us to accept it. Like Zacchaeus, when Jesus called him, he accept it and he was saved.”

Abby: “Jesus found us. He had a good life in heaven, yet He came down to look  for a sinner like me, like us.”

I was so blessed with the preaching and the girls’ sharing, so out of my abundance I shared mine as well. If the last time God showed me that this was about repentance, this time God impressed on my heart that He is asking for obedience. As Kuya Edrei was reading the Gospel, one word was somehow given emphasis that for how many years of hearing this story, I did not notice that this word was  there. That word is “IMMEDIATELY.”

That word!

Jesus did not said, “Zac, take your time and come down here” nor “Zac, I’ll wait for you at your house, meet me when you’re ready.”  Jesus’ words were clear, “Come down, IMMEDIATELY.” There was an urgency in His words.

Look what happened next, immediately Zac came down and obeyed Jesus, immediately He repented, immediately there was reconciliation, and immediately Jesus said that Zac was saved. See that? Salvation came in a span of hours for Zacchaeus!

When God impressed that word on me, I can’t help but be on my knees during the worship. Why? Because it took me many years before I came down and fully obeyed Him. If only, I came down with my pride and humbled myself immediately the very first time I heard Him call then I had lesser heartaches, lesser sins, lesser regrets, lesser sufferings, etc., etc.

I remember Abby said, “Ouch, parang binababatukan na ako ni Lord,” I then replied, Abby, ako na-paddle na ni Lord sa tagal kong sumunod.”

Jesus demands Zacchaeus obedience. He didn’t asked Zac to repent or give back what he had taken to the people; God didn’t demand sacrifices, for He demands obedience better than sacrifice. Furthermore, late obedience is still disobedience.

See that word IMMEDIATELY? I believe Jesus means it. Is Jesus calling you?  If Yes, see the urgency in His words. Respond immediately!

Breaking Dawn Part II and those ACTIONS.

While watching the last installment of Stephenie Meyers’ Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn Part II, two particular actions did caught my attention and created a pinch on my heart. I’ve read all the books (twice), so I know the story fully well, but when I saw it on the big screen, these two actions create an impact on my thoughts and even emotions.

First act: Dr. Carlisle Cullen, a dignified, law-abiding,  and peace-loving vampire  attacked the Volturi. He did it out of what? Out of love and protection for her  adopted daughter, Alice.

I think that scene really reached me because I grew up fatherless, but then I realized that God is the same (not a vampire), but He would do the same for all of His children. Carlisle risked losing  his eternal life as a vampire just to save his vampire daughter; God gave up His son’s life just to save us. I may not have a father here on earth who would risk his life just to save me, but I know one man already gave up His life just for me to be saved, and with that, I have an eternal life to praise and thank Him.

 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

Second act: Edward and Emmett Cullen attacked the Volturi in revenge of their father’s life.  I saw the pain, the hurt, and the anger in the Cullen brothers as they fight.

With that act,  I started to wonder if I can do the same for my Father. I remember our Grounded Leaders Summit wherein we had a basketball game and the other team just stayed on their court defending their net; they never won, and they got tired defending. In the end, we concluded that with our faith, we must also learn how to attack because we can never win the world if we just stay on our comfort zones. How can we reach out the world to Christ when we just stay at the corners of our church?

 I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. – Philippians 1:20

Let me go back to Zacchaeus who was bold enough to seek Christ and obey Him as His follower.  Zac was not ashamed in doing the right things; he was not ashamed of what others may tell about him with his new identity in Christ.

How about you? What will you do if someone offended Jesus in your face? With your life in Christ, how bold you are and how daring you can be?


After a lengthy Saturday, I edit a blog post then I saw this  stats report:

as of November 24, 2012

Stats for 30 days as of 11-24-12

As I reflect and look back, I realized that a big part of what I did and doing since childhood until now is sharing His words. I was part of the Bible class since 3-1/2 years old, been invited to speak in different youth camps and conferences since 15, and now in just months of blogging, it reached this far!

My relatives weren’t shocked with this (unlike me), and they even asked if I’m preaching in the pulpit already; they know me since birth and maybe they saw that this is coming. I just realized how blessed I am to know His words and blessed enough to share it.  I feel blessed when I received invites to talk; however, I have been turning down offers  in camps and conferences as a speaker (because of my shifting schedule). I also feel blessed every time I received comments from different people saying how my writings helped them and how they feel God more. I know that this is my gift and my purpose (somehow), for God has been calling me to do more (since my senior year in High School);  however, I am still dealing  this with Him, 6 years and counting Lord. (It was  no wonder why obedience and courage was the message of God.. hehe) 

I remember when I was still a prideful and overachiever little girl, I used to say, “I will be great and be part of the History”. Now that God humbled me, I say, I may not be like Paul who was used by God to write His words and became part of world History, but I believe with this gift, God will use me in sharing HIS STORY. 

So, why shall I stop writing then? Well, this is just the last blog post in this website. 

How bold I am in Christ? Here’s how I will show it…

my very own site

my very own website

The site is not up yet, but I’ll be promoting this SOON when it’s running already.

 For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes… – Romans 1:16


Feel – Fill- Full

Allow me to create my own Powerful Points to share an overwhelming half-day Summit with the Grounded Leaders. I don’t have the time to take notes during this event yet I believe the lessons shared is still stock in my mind and inscribed in my heart.

Lessons I learned from the Grounded Leaders Summit 8-18-12: 

Be Observant! 

When Pastor King demonstrated our dance steps I wasn’t focused that when the time comes that we have to dance in order for us to meet our group mates, I was lost and couldn’t find my group. Look at me in the photo below, I’m so lost right?

 Lesson Learned: When someone gives instructions, listen and observed carefully. 


Boys will be Boys!

When Pastor Edrei informed every one that there will be a separate session for the boys and girls, this thought came to mind, “Boys are created differently- anatomically and genetically that’s why their thoughts and actions are different from girls.” Girls don’t think the way boys think, and girls don’t act the way the boys do. Having this thought in mind, I know that being surrounded with girls makes me feel more comfortable because I know they will understand me, my acts, my words, and even just my stare – boys can never decode that. We will always have that time that we want to know more about the opposite sex, but I believe the best way to learn that is by being surrounded with your same sex friends. Because when you know who you are, what you are, and what you do, you will never lose that identity when you mingle with the opposites.


Lesson Learned: We can never fully understand the opposite sex, but we can make them better by becoming better with our own.


Feel right to be Filled righteously!

We are so blessed to be with Ms. Phoebe that day, and here are the things I learned  On Senses and Influence:

  • The song that we sing or hear creates a memory, an emotion, and actions. When we listen to a song, it somehow creates a thought or reminds us of someone or somethings or events. When you hear a love song, will you feel bitter or kilig? A song could create an emotion. When it’s raining, what would we listen to? A rock, hardcore music, a senti or a bossa nova? When the music is on a fast beat? Won’t we just feel the beat to dance? What we hear dictates our emotions; the bad news is, it happens unconsciously. So listen to what is good that will make you think and do good and not just feel good.
  • The taste, when the food presented to us is sweet or something we like, won’t we crave for more? When a food is unpleasant to the taste, will we finish eating it or just throw up? I didn’t know that my first taste of Starbucks coffee would make me a coffee addict (see my confessions here),  yet my addiction started on my first taste as the cravings succeeded over me. I love the line that says, “Watch what you eat, don’t eat what you watch” but it hurts to hear the line that says, “You are what you eat”. It hurts because I’m an unhealthy eater, the Bible says, “our bodies is the temple of the Holy Spirit”. Our taste dictates our appetite, our appetite drives us to eat. What we feed our body is a gift to the One who dwells in it. Taste what is right to eat right.
  • Sight! I’m a reader, a book lover, a traveler, and a researcher. My eyes have seen wonders and beautiful sights already.  My prayer to God is this, “Lord, of all my senses and body parts please spare my 20/20 vision.”  I protect my eyes because in all the things I do, my eyes are essential. But more than protecting my eyes physically, I tend to forget that my eyes are also the window to my inner being. I haven’t protected my eyes from the emotional and the unseen danger, I read matured books, adult films, and seen pornographic materials. What entered my eyes enters my heart as well. When I called Christ as my Lord, I surrendered everything to Him that when I say, I offer my body as a living sacrifice holy and pleasing to Him, it doesn’t mean that my eyes are exempted. So I guard my eyes by reading books and watching movies that won’t compromise the holiness and the righteousness of the blood of Jesus that covers me. And here’s another prayer for my eyes, “Lord, help me not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.”

Lesson Learned: Our hearts doesn’t have a brain, it doesn’t know how to think, it beats as dictated by the perceptions of our brains, what our brains perceived is acted on by our heart. So before we say we guard our hearts, we must first guard our thoughts and our senses. For what we see, hear, taste, smell, and feel fills us.


Push don’t just Pull!

Don’t just be on the defense side, know how to attack! The world may throw us a lot of things, but being secured and grounded in His love and words, we will never be shaken. We know the word, we absorbed it, we fill our hearts with it, but what happens when someone attacks and steal those words and worth in us? Shall we allow those snatchers? Or we fight back?  Scripture says, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” Fight with love! We don’t fight to make them losers instead we win them for God.

Lesson Learned: No one wins in basketball by just guarding their  home courts, players win because they go to the opponents court side to shoot and make a score. 


It will NEVER be about YOU!

After our separate sessions, we did have our brainstorming/ case studies about modesty, conduct, relationship between boys to girls, dealing with fellow youth, etc. Some questions are hard to answer, but in the end I believe we are all humans, we have shortcomings, we are saved not by our own efforts, we are all work in progress, and we are able to love others because we can feel the love of God. We can love those who wear short shorts, those who are suicidal, clingy, infatuated, childish etc., because we have been loved unconditionally. And as young as we are, we  must equip ourselves to be better leaders and influence to our fellow youth.


Lesson Learned: How we live our lives is a testament on how we live the fullness of life that Christ has offered.  Our lives will never be about us, but it will always be about Him. 



Bimby Yap in this TV Ad said, “Mama, you’re my number ONE.”

Last Saturday when I had a chance to talk to one of the GROUNDED girls in Church who shares the same group with me, I also said this line to her saying, “Bea, you’re my number ONE.” After saying this, I told her there is no number 2, no ranking, for all of the girls entrusted to me are my number ones.

The milk product endorsed by the TV Ad gives nourishment, growth, and strength hence its called FORTIFIED. 

And because I care and I love my number ones, I need to be fortified as well. Day and night, I pray that God will  nourish and fill me so that my cup will overflow and that I can nourish others too, I pray for my self so that I may give my self. But the scripture said…

If you point these things out to the brothers and sisters, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, nourished on the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed.” – 1 Timothy 4:6

… therefore as I share what I have to my number ones, I am also nourished. But more than sharing of our lives to each other, at the end of the day, it will never be about me or us, it will always points back to God, the one who sustains and nourishes our relationships and faith.

I read my Bible every day; and every Saturday, I would encourage the girls to do the same. There are times that I felt like resting, read other books, or just sleep instead of devoting a time to God then God will just remind me of these girls, my number ones. God just simply tells me “Practice what you preach”, so I read for my own growth and I also read and listen to God’s words for my number ones growth as well. A pastor once said in one of his preachings, “I read the Bible for my own, and I read it separately for my ministry.”  

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.” – 1 Peter 2:2-3

I believe the best thing about sharing lives is the sharing of learning and wisdom, growing from experiences and in Jesus through His words.

Last Saturday in GROUNDED, one of our Campus Ministers, Kuya Francis Villanueva said, “We are NOT SUPER CHRISTIANS.” No one is perfect, no one is strong or wise enough to take care of the flock of the shepherd.  Each mentor, friend, and leader has flaws and weaknesses. We are humans, and we need Jesus to be strong.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13

But being strong in Christ doesn’t mean I must live a life alone – facing challenges all  by myself, reading my Bible alone, and going to Church without company. I must share this strength and gain more strength from the strength of others. As an “ate” (older sister) in the Youth Ministry, I believe, I must use my strength wisely and won’t just be like Samson instead be like Jesus – the God who shares His power when He heals, His wisdom as He preached,  His love as He died, and His kingdom as He live again. My body may feel tired every Saturday from class then Grounded and life group, but still I find myself when I reached home fulfilled for I know the strength and the time I spent with every number ones was worth it.

I’m not a one tough “ATE” of my number ones; I cry when they cry, I got disappointed when they are disappointed, I giggle when they giggle, and I laugh when they laugh.

I pray for them, and I know they pray for me too. I may fail them, and they may fail me too. But one thing will never change, my love for them like my own sisters in Christ.

And just like Ms. Kris Aquino who wants NOTHING BUT THE BEST for her kids, I also want what’s best for my number ones. So I remain Grounded and Fortified in Christ Jesus.


Because you never fail to inspire me to be the best, for you my baby Bea, NOTHING BUT THE BEST fortified “Ate”  in me. I love you.

“You’re my number one.”

                                                               -Ate Ram

More of my Baby Bea here.


The Samaritan and Martha

Chapter 10 (Part II)

Chapter 10 is just a short chapter but I cut it into 2 because there are two messages that reached me.

In the Part I, it reminded me that we are being called, chosen, and blessed.

In this part, Jesus is telling how we should respond to these things. Here are two stories, I will never forget.

The Good Samaritan

25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denariiand gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

This parable, for me, is simply a story that I know by memory. Honestly, I was so used with this story that somehow its meaning never affects me anymore, yet as I read this again, I see something that I never see before – the last words in the parable.

If in the previous verse Jesus said that I must Go like a lamb among the wolves, Jesus here said another Go and be like the Samaritan. All my life, I thought that this parable is just an example, a story of a man as a model to follow, but as I understand it now, it is a commandment from Jesus saying GO! Thinking about this, who am I to stop? I must live a life like the Samaritan not just in times of need but in every day of my life in obedience to Christ, as Peter said it, “because You (Jesus) say so”.


38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I remember this story as part of one of our series in Church, “Double Calls”, Jesus called Martha twice. Martha was so busy  at that time that she choose to do things thinking that she could please Jesus by the things that she does, but Jesus called her saying that what her sister was doing is far better than her. Allow me to share what our pastor said when we talked about this story, the sisters have two different approach to Jesus, there was an open heart vs. an open house, and a devoted vs. a distracted. 1

My question is, what kind of opening do I have for Jesus in my life?  Am I devoted to Him or distracted?

Our pastor gives the word BUSY a meaning – Being Under Satan’s Yoke. 1

 I ask myself. Busy? Am I busy focusing more on the things that I do to please God and other people? Am I focus on the “Many Things vs. The One Thing“?. 1

I remember what another pastor said in one of the youth service, “When you are so busy with your ministry, you are squeezing God out of your life.”2 I will never ever forget these lines not just because it was the preaching on the first time that I attended the youth service in church, but because it was what happened to me in the past. I choose to served His people more than being with Him.

Our pastor said, “priority determines capacity”1. Where am I focus? What are my priorities? Am I focused on God or with my ministry?

This time, I know what is right, I need to fix my eyes on Jesus and choose Him above else. I believe a heart full of Him is more pleasing to His sight than a hand full of work.

Jesus called Martha twice, I was called to be in the youth ministry twice. On the first call, I failed Him, but on this second one, I know how to do it right.

Allow me to quote our pastor’s main point in sharing this story,

“God is calling us to dwell in Him.”1

1 Preaching of Pastor Janssen Morados on Double Calls, August 2008

2 Preaching of Pastor John del Rosario on SCANDAL: Role Models Gone Bad, Grounded Service, May 19, 2012


Noah’s Math

After Grounded as I meet my Victory Group girls, I asked how their week was and all of them said something about the subject Math and how they battled through it in the past school week. When Ate Rina joined the group and said we are about to have a game; and us knowing that Noah’s Ark was the topic, I opened my Bible, searched some facts about the Ark, shared it to the girls, and we memorized it.

Here is our discovery:

Noah’s Ark – 450 feet long, 45 feet high, and 75 feet wide. – Genesis 6: 15

Noah’s Ark

Ending, we played something with coins, not really connected to the Ark but was connected to Noah’s perseverance. We are not victorious in the game, but we discovered something common in all of us this week, our common ground  – Math (we hate it, we love it, and together we will survive it, in perseverance and in God’s grace).

Now, we call our group as “The Mathematicians”.

The Mathematicians that multiply my happiness every Saturday.


Jesus, alert and oriented x3.

 Chapter 4

As a nurse, alert and oriented x 3 or AO3 is a normal finding in assessing the mental status of our patients, it means that the patient is oriented to time, place, and person. Reading this chapter, I was so amazed on how alert Jesus was and how he was so oriented with God’s words that he was able to answer the devil even in His human form and very hungry in his fast for 40 days and 40 nights.

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone’.”

Tempted for food, Jesus quoted Moses man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” –Deuteronomy 8:3

Every time I fast, and when the people around me noticed that I’m not eating, they would force me to eat and scare me saying I will die starving, but I always respond with the same answer of Jesus, “Man does not live by rice alone.”

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only’.”

Tempted for glory, Jesus again quoted Moses,  Fear the Lord your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. -Deuteronomy 6:13

This verse is so timely; our topic in the youth service (Grounded) today was about the Role Playing Gods – our idols and the things that we devote into. With the preaching and this verse, I believe, God wants me to bear in mind that only Him can fulfill me, and only Him I should devote my time to. Even Jesus fixed His eyes on God and in His words.

12 Jesus answered, “It is said: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test’.”

Sometimes, our faith is tested, but this verse says that we can’t test God. Reflecting about this, I felt and asked that “Isn’t this unfair?” but as I searched where Jesus gets His answer quoting Moses in Deuteronomy 6:16,18, 16 Do not put the Lord your God to the test… 18 Do what is right and good in the Lord’s sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land the Lord promised…

In our testing, we are given hope, we must persevere to claim that promise. God’s promises will always be the good, pleasing and perfect, and that I should not test Him but instead trust Him all the days of my life.