On Decisions and Dating Goodbye

Book: I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Author: Joshua Harris

Where to buy: Leading bookstores and Christian bookstores nationwide

Let me begin this with the book’s last chapter, “Someday, I’ll have a (Love) Story to tell.” Indeed, each one of us have our own love stories to share, and as the author says, it’s our chosen story. We can choose to make it a story of purity, faith, and selfless love, or it can be a story of impatience, selfishness, and compromise. It can be a story that we can be proud to share or a story that will only bring us shame. After all, it’s our choice and the decisions we made.

Making decisions is a vital part of life. We make decisions as early as the moment we wake up whether to snooze that alarm or not until what side of the bed we will sleep at night and the countless decisions we made in between for the entire day. We cannot deny that we really have to decide in everything. When I first saw this book, it’s the book’s title that gives me the interest to open it, and I know that I made a good decision in my life reading this book.

The author made a decision to finally kiss dating goodbye for some personal reasons and best intentions. It was his best and brave decision that he shared  to the world. Now, Joshua Harris has been so famous for this book.

But what does this book have to do with decisions?

Well, for me, when we finally get to the point that our lives seems nowhere to go or meaningless already, we have to reflect and assess ourselves.

Here’s some of my self-assessment questions way back 2010, “What is the kind of life and relationship that I really want?”, “Can I go and live like this forever?”, “Will I have a happily ever after?”, “Can someone really love me with my flaws and all?”, “Am I ready for this and the consequences of my acts?”

I had so many questions back then. Holding this book, I finally decided to follow what Mr. Harris did – kissed dating goodbye. However, I failed to uphold this commitment. I dated but not for long. Again, I had fallen and had to reassess myself. Since then, I felt that dating was a sin, a thing that was never right to do.

Dating is not a sin though, but I felt so guilty. Why? Because I did it out of wrong motives and it all ended up in wrong decisions and actions that lead me to sin. I really agree with the author when he said, “The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.” Maybe, that’s what made me feel guilty. I made the wrong things.

Now this has become too personal already, so let me go back on how kissing dating goodbye became one of the best decisions I made.

Heartbreaking: The author’s lines that somehow hurts me because it’s true.

“There are relationships I can only look back on with regrets. I do my best to forget.”

Can we really forget? I do have a good memory, and those not-so-good memories will surely come to mind from time to time, sadly.

“I know that God has been faithful to forgive as I’ve asked Him to. But I’m still aware of the consequences of my selfishness. I gave my heart away too many times.”

This is the most hurting, knowing that I have hurt God and my future husband.

Baby Steps: The author’s lines that made me took a stand and take that first step in faith.

“I’ve come to understand that God’s lordship in my life doesn’t merely tinker with my approach to romance – it completely transforms it. God not only wants me to act differently; He wants me to think differently – to view love, purity, and singleness from His perspective, to have a new lifestyle and a new attitude. The basis of this new attitude is God’s love for us.”

Need I say more? God moved me to change and to really know what love is.

“Waiting until I’m ready for commitment before pursuing romance is just one example of letting Christ’s love control my relationship. Each person has to examine his or her own life and ask what it means to love others like Christ.”

That’s exactly what I did, and I’m grateful with my decision, for I know I made the right one.

A Promise: The author’s line that keeps me waiting in expectation with excitement.

“I kissed dating goodbye because I found out that God has something better in store.”

I agree with this because I know that God’s plans are always good, pleasing, and perfect. His ways are definitely higher and better than what I could ever dream and imagine.

The Reason: The author’s lines that keeps me going.

“The ultimate goal behind my choice isn’t to avoid pain. I know that even in a godly relationship I might face disappointment one day. The reason I want to love like Christ is so that one day I can stand in purity and blamelessness before God.”

“At the end of our lives, we won’t answer to everyone. We’ll answer to God. Our actions in relationships haven’t escaped God’s notice.”

In humility, when my time comes, I’ll stand in front of God and say, “I’m sorry for the sins I made in my past life and relationships, and thank you for Your grace that sustains me not to do the same things again.

Headlines: The author’s lines that give me hope.

“But here’s the good news: The God who sees all our sin is ready to forgive if we repent and turn from them.”

“Because of Jesus’ sacrifice for me, I know that God has forgiven me for the sins I’ve committed against Him. I don’t have to live overwhelmed with by regret or fear of the future. Because we serve a God who makes all things new, no matter how many mistakes we’ve made in the past.”

This is the best and surely the greatest news I ever received; Christ came to save.

An invite: The author’s lines that made me pursue this commitment.

“It’s this grace and this mercy that should motivate us to live differently for the rest of our lives.”

“I’m an unworthy sinner that God chose to rescue and forgive. This is love. And because I’ve experienced it – because Jesus died for me – I’m committed to a love life that’s controlled by Him. I invite you along.”

I finally accepted this invite last year in view of the love of Christ, and this is surely one of the best decisions I ever made. How about you? Will you come and join us in relationships bound in the love, grace, and mercy of God?

 This is Love.

There you go! I’m finally done sharing my insights on the book’s first chapter (So this is Love), and I won’t share the in between chapters anymore. It’s time for you to grab your own copy to read, understand and believe. Remember that someday it will be your own story to share. Mr. Joshua Harris’ love story is really amazing, and mine will surely be awesome as well that I am very excited to write about it soon.

It’s your choice and your decision to make. I started mine by kissing dating goodbye, loving God more, and waiting for the things that He has in store for me.

It’s your story to share, but I never said that it is only you who can author it. My next book review is about letting God be the author of your story, When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy.