These past few days, I felt jealousy creeping inside my heart. I am afraid of this feeling. I know that jealousy is not a characteristic of real love. It is a sign of insecurity.
It bothers me for days and nights. And, I realized that what I’m feeling isn’t right anymore. Or should I say, this is not the feeling that the God of love wanted me to have.
I must act on this feeling before it consumes me…
So, I finally decided to take the hard but the High way. I cry unto God to remove this growing jealousy immediately because I know that what I’m feeling is not from Him.
It’s a bit scary to think that once God moves, He will surely work His ways to the point of us getting broken into pieces for Him to make whole and new again. I am honestly afraid on how God will correct me and my emotions. I am afraid that as He pluck the wrong feelings, He will also remove a certain person or thing my life.
But, I trust Him for what is best. Now, I’m in the process of being mold again and I’m glad that I am, though it (really) hurts.
If there is one thing I learned in this heart matter, that is to trust and lift up to God all insecurities. He may remove it painfully, but it is always for the best.
Someday, this heart of mine will be swamped with uncertain emotions again, but one thing will remain certain – the feelings that I will only entertain and allow to grow is that of what comes from the Lord.
Love is not insecure, for everything that comes from God comes with peace and security. When God gives, He adds no trouble in it.
I’ll be forever grateful that God’s love is beyond my finite’s mind understanding, as it secures me from everlasting to everlasting. And, with His love, there is not even a hint of reason to be jealous and insecure.