While watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower last month, a line did caught my attention and made me ponder on it. It is when Charlie said, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” As I reflect on that line, I remember the Love that isn’t fair. If you don’t know about that unfair love of mine yet, Click this.
I believe, Charlie is right; we only accept the love we think we deserve. What kind of love does a woman like me deserve, knowing my worth that a man died for me to show me His love? Somehow, I really don’t feel deserving of that love, yet He made me worthy. Therefore, I believe I only deserve that kind of love – the greatest love of all.
When Ptr. Joe Bonifacio said his wedding vows to Ms. Carla (Rica Peralejo), I really loved it when he said to her, “I promise to constantly pursue you, make you feel loved and wanted because YOU’RE WORTH IT.” Even Ms. Carla, in one of the single ladies event in VCF Makati, said that out of all the lines of Pastor Joe in their wedding vows, we should bear in mind the last one. Yes, a woman in Christ is worthy of an unconditional love!
Another Church pastor, Ptr. John Del Rosario, described his love for his wife with this, “I love my wife like Christ love the Church; and I would die for my wife like Christ died for the Church.” I actually wrote down this line in my notebook because that line is the sweetest comparison of love I’ve ever heard from a man.
Yesterday, I saw this viral poem in a video by Brent Rice; and this made me look forward more to the love that I will accept because I believe I only deserve that kind of love.
Crucifixion Type of Love
My biggest prayer is to love her right. I want to love her like Christ loved the Church, love her like her Father in heaven loves her, love her like the Holy Spirit loves her soul and love her like she was created to be loved but sometimes, sometimes my flesh tries to intimidate me with that kind of love. It’s like my spirit can rise from the depths of this corrupted prison with the voice of Abel screaming that “I have not yet loved her to the extent that Christ loves the church” see, I want a crucifixion type of love.
Every time I hug her, I want my arms to be spread out on the cross and I want to die to my childish ways. Every time I look into her eyes,I want a crown of thorns to be placed upon my head so that I will surrender my thought life to her honor. And, I want the walls to be taken apart to be nail driven into my feet so that they would lead her with the authority of Moses; see, I want a crucifixion type love.
I want my side to be pierced every time we laugh together so that I’ll always remember that she is my rib. And every time I sleep and dream of her, I want my back to be beaten with a cat o nine tail so that I’ll always carry her burdens for her. And every time I’m not with her, I want to stand before Pilate and stand true to my relationship with her; see, I want those who have seen me to have seen her in me when we are apart. I want a crucifixion type of love.
I want a love that will cause dead men to rise. When people gaze on us I want them to know who is this Christ that we speak of. And every time she falls I want to take her in my arms like my cross and carry her up to Calvary. I want men to mark me for not wanting to be like them, for not wanting to squander my love on various women but to have the passion to pour out my love onto one soul for all of eternity. I want a crucifixion type of love.
I want a love that was predestined before eternity. I want a love that was birthed in my mother’s womb. I want a love that is willing to give up this world for her. I want a love that is immaculate. I want a love that makes angels wish they were in our shoes. I want a love that will make me pray to God and say who am I that you are mindful of me to bless me with her. I want a crucifixion type of love.
I want a love that bleeds purity. I want a love that people will lie on us just to see us split apart. I want a love that will make me run away to a far village build a mansion for you with my bare hands and send you love letters every day reminding you of me, letters that you can keep in a book and spend time reading them every day. I want a love that will make my spirit pray for you. I want a love that will make me walk on water in the middle of the most dangerous storm for you; see, I want a crucifixion type of love.
I want a love that my friends will betray me because of my affection for you. I want a love that after we’re gone that for centuries to come, men will aim to follow on our legacy. And every time I rise in the morning, I want it to be my cross being raised up right for you, to stand up on the hill of my life and portray a beautiful sacrifice. I want to be placed in the tomb of your heart, the tomb that your mother and father built. I want a love that will rise with all power over adversity. I want a love that people will flock to see if it’s real. I want a crucifixion type love.
I want a love that shows my yearning for you. I want a love that even when we argue, I still have a burning passion and desire to be with you. I want a love that heals, the kind of love that covers the wounds that were dug deep by the knives of infidelity and insecurity. I want a love that makes God get up and dance around His throne every time He sets His eyes on us. I want a crucifixion type of love.
So, with all of that said…
Lord, please give me the strength to love her like you love me. Like the way you didn’t consider being equal with the father, a thing to be grasped, but you came and gave up your throne for the filth of this world and in love you served; so in the same way let me serve her unconditionally, infinitely. So, let me man up and quit wasting time playing games and pursue her like you pursue your church because you have chosen me to be entrusted with her heart. So, let me cherish it like a jeweler cherishes a diamond, let me examine it and find out every minute detail about her worth; see, I want to love her like Abraham loved Sarah, like Isaac loved Rebecca, like Jacob loved Rachel, like Boaz loved Ruth, like Solomon loved his queen, I want a crucifixion type of love.
So, into your hands I commend this relationship because I want to love her like you love your church. I want a crucifixion type of love.
The lines that are in bold are my favorite lines. If you are wondering why I love Boaz and Ruth, which is another entry to write, you can ask me via email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll be glad to answer.