Apat na Buwan Pa Lang

Apat na buwan pa lang mula nang tayo’y pinag-isa

Sandali pa lang naman pala

Sa pakiramdam ay sobrang tagal na

Apat na buwan na puno nang iyak at tawa

Nasugatan ng malalim pero kinakaya

Masakit man, nagagawa pa rin magsaya

Apat na buwan pa lang, pero tayo’y sinubok na

Parang quota na agad sa sakit at luha

Sobra pa sa iniyak natin sa isang taon na tayo’y mag-jowa

Apat na buwan pa lang na puno nang aral at alaala

Na isusulat ko sa iba’t ibang tula

Upang baunin natin hanggang sa pagtanda

Apat na buwan pa lang sa pangarap nating lima o anim na dekada

Marami pa tayong isasayaw at ikakanta

Hanggang sa daliri mo’y di na kayang mag-gitara

Apat na buwan pa lang tayong mag-asawa

Ang dami na nating malalim na buntong hininga

Buti na lang nasa Diyos ang ating pag-asa

Apat na buwan pa lang tayong nagsisimula

Malayo pa tayo kahit sa gitna

Pagsubok siguro ay marami pa

Apat na buwan pa lang, may habambuhay pa

Wala namang di kakayanin, ‘di ba?

Hanggang kapit natin ang isa’t isa

Apat na buwan pa lang ang lumipas at nawala,

May mga darating na bukas pa

Haharapin natin lahat na magkasama

Apat na buwan pa lang ngayon, Papa

Marami pang buwan at taon na mamahalin kita

Dahil “hanggang wala nang bukas” ang pangako natin sa isa’t isa

and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh – Mark 10:8


A Glimpse of Our Haven

Three days from now I’ll be a 1-month old wife. Hurrahhh!!! It still feels like it was only yesterday when we were just planning our garden wedding (click on this link for our wedding SDE).

As I’ve shared in my recent posts, our courtship, dating, and wedding preparations all happened in just one year. BUT, even if I was 95% sure that my boyfriend then (now husband) is the one for me, there were times before we wed that I needed to question my decision of saying “yes” to him. The questioning was more of an act of securing wisdom rather than doubting.

Entering married life needs a firm decision of changing our lives, not just our surname and status. That’s why I had to question my emotions back then. Was it so high that I’m so giddy to be married? Or, was it so low that it made me needy for a marriage? Thankfully, my emotions then were balanced that I was able to squeeze wisdom in it.

December 2017 when Julius (my husband) and I came out in the public as a couple. When January 2018 came, I needed to ask him, “What’s your vision for your future?” His response didn’t sound and feel right for me. I was troubled and disappointed to the point that I considered a breakup. Why? Because I don’t think I can be with a man who doesn’t have a clear vision in life. I told Julius that I cannot marry him if he still don’t know where he wants to go. I love him but I don’t want to be lost with him. If he is uncertain of his future, then my future and our children’s future will be at risk.

A man who doesn’t have a vision for his life is worst than a blind man.

That’s why we, women, should never be with a man who will only tell us “let’s just go with the flow.” Clearly that man (probably a boy) don’t have a vision. Either you’ll get yourself drown with him or you’ll get tired floating to the unknown.

Thankfully, Julius responded in faith and actions. His responses were assurance that I will not face the unknown tomorrow blindly with him. Thus, the wedding was pursued.

During our wedding preparations, Julius found an amazing vision for his future (which is the same as mine). While searching for a wedding venue, the very first one we visited was Our Haven Events Place in Indang, Cavite. The owners of the place are very much accomodating and kind. They have a lovely home turned into a bed & breakfast and now an event place with a swimming pool, outdoor area for team building activities, a tree house, an amphitheater, and more bed & breakfast rooms to accomodate more guests. If I’m not mistaken it’s more than a 2-hectare area surrounded by trees and pineapples.

It was such a haven in the middle of the woods. We really wanted to get married there but because our wedding fall on a Monday and it is a bit far from the Metro, we opted for a nearer venue. Still, Julius and I decided to have our prenup photoshoot there.

My friends who were with us when we visited the place for our prenup photoshoot said that driving there gave them “the feels” in one part of the movie Crazy Rich Asians. I can’t agree with them because I haven’t watched it yet. But, they too loved the place. It is good for intimate or large garden weddings and will surely suit all themes. Aside from events, Our Haven is perfect for staycations, picnics, teambuildings, and glamping! This is why I highly recommend the place. Check out their social media pages below to see more of its beauty.

Facebook –

Instagram –

Our Haven Events Place is so captivating that it becomes an instrument for Julius to have a glimpse of our family’s future. He now envisions to have a home with a beautiful garden and a backyard farm as lovely (may be not as big) as the one in Our Haven’s, where the two of us can retire and welcome family, friends, missionaries, and guests. We can work together now to build that retirement home (or business) in God’s perfect time (and provisions).

My then boyfriend’s vision is aligned with mine. If it wasn’t, then I wouldn’t marry him. Why? Because two different people with different visions will definitely go to different directions.

Our shared vision from God is an assurance that the two of us can be one.


All photos are from Ram Marcelo Photography, our official wedding photographer.


Pray for a Man who Prays

I’m writing this as I’m about to sleep after being prayed over by my fiancé on the phone. My heart is so full, that I just can’t contain how blessed I am to have someone praying for me and with me.

Exactly a month ago, my fiancé went back to his original mission assignment. Ever since the day he left, there is no morning that he missed waking me up with words of encouragement; there is no day that he missed saying “I prayed for you, Mahal”; and there is no night that he did not pray for me over the phone.

I’m not a prayerful woman. In fact, if there’s a ministry in church that I can’t join in that would be the intercessory. I’m not into lengthy prayers. I did not set a specific time for prayers, neither carry with me a list of prayers and petitions. But, I do make sure that I get to have a quiet time to pray and talk to God intently everyday.

Things changed when I started dating out my fiancé. With his line of work, as a Police Officer, I have become prayerful. I need to be his prayer warrior. But more than that, he is leading me closer to God, and I believe it’s enough reason to pray even more.

I’m also not a patient woman. I would easily lose my temper and snap over petty things. One time we were caught in a very stressful situation. I started ranting, complaining, and saying things negatively at my fiancé. Instead of firing back, he held my hand and started praying. I don’t know how to respond to that. Our situation turned upside down. I can’t help but thank him for pointing my focus back to God and not on our circumstances.

I like my fiancé’s cheesy lines, but I love his prayers more. Kilig will fade, but faith and love remains.

When things get tough, a man’s muscles will not guarantee his strength to carry on. But, a man’s faith is an assurance that he will not be shaken.

If you would ask me if I have a “prayerful” characteristic in my husband-to-be checklist, the answer is “no”. Shame on me. But, I’m thankful that God gave me the things I didn’t ask for in a man.

Ladies and Gents, don’t be like me; pray for someone who prays.

Prayer is the way we communicate to God. Isn’t it amazing to have someone who talks to God concerning you?


It’s More Than Just an Initial

Yesterday, I was asked if my name was correctly and completely spelled in the letter sent to me because it will reflect on my new identification card. I replied with, “My middle name or initial is missing.”

Since I was kinda eavesdropping, the man on the other table, who undergoes the same questioning as me, asked, “Hindi niyo ba talaga nilalagay ang middle name? (Do you really intend not to place the middle name?)”

Hearing myself and the man’s reply, I can say that you will know a person’s love for his/her mother when he/she demands for that middle name or initial. I know it is not much proof, but it is somehow significant.

I know it is only a single letter in my name, but that means so much to me as a child of my mother. That letter is the only visible thing in my name that proves who my mother is.

I remember a College Professor who once said, “Do not ever forget to write your middle initial. It’s a sign of respect and appreciation to your mother.” And I believe him, because it is true.

“Do not ever forget to write your middle initial. It’s a sign of respect and appreciation to your mother.”

My mother carried me in her womb for nine months, painfully gave birth to me, and sustains me with all my basic needs and event wants for 27 years now. Isn’t it only fitting that I would want to recognize her as part of me?

Honor Your Father and Your Mother. This is one of the 10 Commandments. If I honor my father by keeping and protecting his name, then it is only right that I demand to have my mother’s name with me even if it is just a single letter. It may only be an initial, but it means so much when you really love your mother.

I love you, Ma!


Chase and Catch

Allow me to be very open with you (in this post), folks. The past years were tough in the area of dating and relationships with the opposite sex. Being beautiful, faithful and successful (ehem) has a very high toll you know. People are expecting me to be dating good men, but sadly, I didn’t. I failed in that area. 

Never heard about this, eh? ‘Coz I don’t post it on social media. 😂  Since I am secretive and proud, I’m not the kind who would share what I’m going through with anyone (until I stumbled). I won’t go into details about these past experiences and hurts of mine, but I’ll share with you what I learned (the hard way) in this area.

1. Never ever let your guard down. I learned this in Muay Thai, but I failed to apply it in practice. I keep on saying my heart was guarded, not knowing that my heart have already been opened wide and ready to be torn apart. I thought I was still guarded even after the first date, but nah, I let my guard down the moment I first replied with a “Hi” and stayed up late for midnight chats. 😂 Save yourself from heartaches and eyebags. Be with someone who would take time to talk with you eye-to-eye rather than someone who will cause additional weight to your eyebags. You are meant to be protected!

2. Never ever run a race not worth running. If it is not worth it, stop. I can run for hours in the treadmill ‘coz its for my fitness. But, running after someone? No way! Do you think God will be pleased seeing you run after a frog when there are princes available around? You are meant to be pursued!

3. Never ever pursue what is not meant for you. How did I know that it was not meant for me? I asked God, though I should have asked God first before I put on that running shoes and had that first step (but still it was better late than never). You are meant to obey God!

4. Never ever hold on to what is meant to be let go of. How will I know that it is already time to let go? Ask what will make God smile, running away or staying? I chose the former, and I can feel God’s pleasure when I did that. You are meant to be free from worry and pain!

5. Never ever attach yourself to temporary things, choose what will stay. I loved the “goodmornings” and “goodnights” messages, but I’d rather say “goodbye” than settle for what I know is not meant to last. You are meant to be loved forever!

6. Never ever settle for an “almost” and a “maybe”, choose what is “always” and “sure”. Do I even have to explain this? 😂 But seriously, don’t settle for what will make you wonder (and worry) about your future. Be with someone who you can see and build your future around with. You are meant to be secured!

7. Never ever settle for the pressure around you. If you are 27 and surrounded by older people, you will receive daily unwelcome advices. Just know when (and who) to listen! You are meant for God’s best at God’s perfect time, so don’t be pressured by others’ opinion and your biological clock!

Again, I’ve learned these things the hard way, and (after a haircut) I am now moving on and okay again for dating, hoping that this time I’ll do it right. I hope this post helps you. 😊

P.S. Remember what they say about having so many fish in the ocean? You are not the one supposed to chase and catch the fish. You are one of those fish. You are meant to be braved the waters with and to be patiently catched! You are a good catch, darling. (Just be careful with the baits. 😉)


On Decisions and Dating Goodbye

Book: I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Author: Joshua Harris

Where to buy: Leading bookstores and Christian bookstores nationwide

Let me begin this with the book’s last chapter, “Someday, I’ll have a (Love) Story to tell.” Indeed, each one of us have our own love stories to share, and as the author says, it’s our chosen story. We can choose to make it a story of purity, faith, and selfless love, or it can be a story of impatience, selfishness, and compromise. It can be a story that we can be proud to share or a story that will only bring us shame. After all, it’s our choice and the decisions we made.

Making decisions is a vital part of life. We make decisions as early as the moment we wake up whether to snooze that alarm or not until what side of the bed we will sleep at night and the countless decisions we made in between for the entire day. We cannot deny that we really have to decide in everything. When I first saw this book, it’s the book’s title that gives me the interest to open it, and I know that I made a good decision in my life reading this book.

The author made a decision to finally kiss dating goodbye for some personal reasons and best intentions. It was his best and brave decision that he shared  to the world. Now, Joshua Harris has been so famous for this book.

But what does this book have to do with decisions?

Well, for me, when we finally get to the point that our lives seems nowhere to go or meaningless already, we have to reflect and assess ourselves.

Here’s some of my self-assessment questions way back 2010, “What is the kind of life and relationship that I really want?”, “Can I go and live like this forever?”, “Will I have a happily ever after?”, “Can someone really love me with my flaws and all?”, “Am I ready for this and the consequences of my acts?”

I had so many questions back then. Holding this book, I finally decided to follow what Mr. Harris did – kissed dating goodbye. However, I failed to uphold this commitment. I dated but not for long. Again, I had fallen and had to reassess myself. Since then, I felt that dating was a sin, a thing that was never right to do.

Dating is not a sin though, but I felt so guilty. Why? Because I did it out of wrong motives and it all ended up in wrong decisions and actions that lead me to sin. I really agree with the author when he said, “The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.” Maybe, that’s what made me feel guilty. I made the wrong things.

Now this has become too personal already, so let me go back on how kissing dating goodbye became one of the best decisions I made.

Heartbreaking: The author’s lines that somehow hurts me because it’s true.

“There are relationships I can only look back on with regrets. I do my best to forget.”

Can we really forget? I do have a good memory, and those not-so-good memories will surely come to mind from time to time, sadly.

“I know that God has been faithful to forgive as I’ve asked Him to. But I’m still aware of the consequences of my selfishness. I gave my heart away too many times.”

This is the most hurting, knowing that I have hurt God and my future husband.

Baby Steps: The author’s lines that made me took a stand and take that first step in faith.

“I’ve come to understand that God’s lordship in my life doesn’t merely tinker with my approach to romance – it completely transforms it. God not only wants me to act differently; He wants me to think differently – to view love, purity, and singleness from His perspective, to have a new lifestyle and a new attitude. The basis of this new attitude is God’s love for us.”

Need I say more? God moved me to change and to really know what love is.

“Waiting until I’m ready for commitment before pursuing romance is just one example of letting Christ’s love control my relationship. Each person has to examine his or her own life and ask what it means to love others like Christ.”

That’s exactly what I did, and I’m grateful with my decision, for I know I made the right one.

A Promise: The author’s line that keeps me waiting in expectation with excitement.

“I kissed dating goodbye because I found out that God has something better in store.”

I agree with this because I know that God’s plans are always good, pleasing, and perfect. His ways are definitely higher and better than what I could ever dream and imagine.

The Reason: The author’s lines that keeps me going.

“The ultimate goal behind my choice isn’t to avoid pain. I know that even in a godly relationship I might face disappointment one day. The reason I want to love like Christ is so that one day I can stand in purity and blamelessness before God.”

“At the end of our lives, we won’t answer to everyone. We’ll answer to God. Our actions in relationships haven’t escaped God’s notice.”

In humility, when my time comes, I’ll stand in front of God and say, “I’m sorry for the sins I made in my past life and relationships, and thank you for Your grace that sustains me not to do the same things again.

Headlines: The author’s lines that give me hope.

“But here’s the good news: The God who sees all our sin is ready to forgive if we repent and turn from them.”

“Because of Jesus’ sacrifice for me, I know that God has forgiven me for the sins I’ve committed against Him. I don’t have to live overwhelmed with by regret or fear of the future. Because we serve a God who makes all things new, no matter how many mistakes we’ve made in the past.”

This is the best and surely the greatest news I ever received; Christ came to save.

An invite: The author’s lines that made me pursue this commitment.

“It’s this grace and this mercy that should motivate us to live differently for the rest of our lives.”

“I’m an unworthy sinner that God chose to rescue and forgive. This is love. And because I’ve experienced it – because Jesus died for me – I’m committed to a love life that’s controlled by Him. I invite you along.”

I finally accepted this invite last year in view of the love of Christ, and this is surely one of the best decisions I ever made. How about you? Will you come and join us in relationships bound in the love, grace, and mercy of God?

 This is Love.

There you go! I’m finally done sharing my insights on the book’s first chapter (So this is Love), and I won’t share the in between chapters anymore. It’s time for you to grab your own copy to read, understand and believe. Remember that someday it will be your own story to share. Mr. Joshua Harris’ love story is really amazing, and mine will surely be awesome as well that I am very excited to write about it soon.

It’s your choice and your decision to make. I started mine by kissing dating goodbye, loving God more, and waiting for the things that He has in store for me.

It’s your story to share, but I never said that it is only you who can author it. My next book review is about letting God be the author of your story, When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy.


Boyfriend Muna?

This blog post was first published when I was turning 23. Re-reading and re-writing it now that I’m 28 makes me happy to look back on how my heart has been – whole, broken, healed, and whole again. Moreover, it is my joy to say that upon re-writing this, I already have a “boyfriend” after a lot of heartaches, stumblings, and unwise falls in the past 5 years.

The usual me would always tease my single elder girl friends to marry already, but most of them would reply, “Pwede boyfriend muna?I do understand what they meant, but what I didn’t get is the difference of having a boyfriend and a husband-to-be.

My College friends who are all in romantic relationships would almost always tease me with any guy. They would introduce me to other people specifically to the opposite sex as “Single”; it is as if Single is my surname. My typical reaction to them is, “I’m still young to be pressured about being single and uncommitted.” One night when I was having a date with my College friends, they asked me what do I really feel with the guy who used to pursue me before since we still communicate and hang out sometimes; they say we looked good together and that we will be a perfect couple. In all honesty, I replied, “I just can’t see my forever with him”. They all replied, “Forever agad? Di pwedeng boyfriend muna?

Last night while I meet the future leaders in my Life Group, I told them to prepare and see themselves leading already because time will come that I’ll be marrying and will leave the group eventually. Knowing that I’m not yet into a relationship, they said, “Agad-agad? Di pwede mag-boyfriend ka muna, Ate?”

Boyfriend muna? Then what? What’s next?

    Is having a boyfriend the same as tasting a new food offered in the supermarket? Taste first if you like it or not. Buy the food if the food tasted good, but if not, just leave it, move on, and search for food that could please your taste and satisfy you.

     Why invest emotions and time with someone you can’t see your future with?


They say that the boyfriend – girlfriend thing is the trial and error stage. What is marriage then? A successful experiment?

         Is having a boyfriend the same as dissecting a frog in the laboratory? After opening its body and seeing how gruesome it is, you just said your done,  concluded that it is still a frog inside out then throw the frog’s lifeless body and say, “I’ve learned from that frog.”


   I’m not against the boyfriend-girlfriend stage. I had mine in my old life, but I believe that kind of stage should not just be a fitting room stage wherein one tries if a new pair of denims is a perfect fit or not.

    No man in this earth is perfect, they are not our jeans to wear when we want something comfortable, and when they fade and ripped, we simply lock them in our closets or worst, dump them.

Before a man becomes a boyfriend, he lays down his intentions first. I believe, even before he shows his intent, he has befriended the woman already. And, before he befriends the woman, he already observed and prayed for her from afar. It will take a process to have a boyfriend, so before that man became a boyfriend, the woman already knows the things about this man – his character, his heart, and his intentions.

Why say, Yes” when in doubt about the character of the person? Some women would say, “He is not the guy I fall in love with; it’s as if he’s a different man now.”

iphone5So, is having a boyfriend like having a gadget? If you can’t configure it out or if you see a better version, you just set it aside or buy a new, simpler, and not complicated one. My question is, “Why buy such gadget at the first place?” Do you need it or you just want it? Or, maybe you just feel cool with it? If it is no longer cool and convenient, you do not want it anymore. As women, we have the option to say, “Yes” or “No” to a man. So, we have to make the right decisions. A boyfriend is a potential, irreplaceable husband and not a disposable friend.

If a woman is really into a man, she should have prayed for him and asked for God’s leading before giving that precious “Yes” (this is how, I believe, it should be).

Again, the words I wrote here were written 5 years ago… (check out my prayer back then)

Maybe some of you would say that I cannot understand your views on dating because I’m not into a relationship  at the moment, but I believe, looking back from my old and filthy life, having had uncounted number of boyfriends, I do understand. And, this is the main reason why I  just don’t want to have a “boyfriend muna” or “boyfriend at the moment” because with the new life that God has given me, I strongly believe that just having a boyfriend at the moment is far different from having a husband for a lifetime. 

In all honesty, I can’t even find any words for short-term relationships in the Bible, for I believe that God didn’t designed anything temporarily; He created everything to be eternal. However,  I saw this verse, and God’s words are clear.

“…do not arouse or awaken love, until it so desires.” – Song of Songs 8:4 

Let us not waste our time tasting every offer, experimenting anything, finding the right fit, and/or making things complicated. There is no perfect time to have a relationship, but there will always be God’s man and God’s time for you. Wait patiently until God gave you His best, so don’t waste your time waiting with some jerks while enjoying the pleasure of the moment, for you will have the love more than what you can desire and an eternity of happiness to look forward with.

There will never be a perfect boy-girl relationship and neither a perfect couple; I accepted that fact already, and that is why I really give utmost value to my first and last God’s grace boyfriend-to-be in this new life of mine. Again, I’m just turning 23, not even waiting for a date, but I know and I pray (if God wills it) that in 5 years time, I’ll be walking down the aisle on my wedding day making sure that the man who will walk with me before God is not just a chosen free taste, a successful experiment, a good fit denims, a complicated choice,  nor a boyfriend for a moment but a lifetime bestfriend and partner forever.

potential husband

5 years later…

I now have a boyfriend! Hooorraaayy!!! I’m glad that I waited on God, even if I have been faithless countless of times. Today, me and my boyfriend of 3 months are talking about marriage and family. He already opened a savings account for our wedding funds which I managed (no proposal yet). 😊 I am more than grateful that we are on the same page of leading our relationship to a lifetime of missional marriage and not just a temporary “boyfriend – girlfriend” thing. I am also thankful that I won’t be able to call Julius as my “boyfriend” for a long time, as he has volunteered to be my future husband soon. Hehe..

(More of my stumbling stories in the next blog posts…)




Photo credit: Google Images