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Of Dating a Sinner and Imperfect Man (why you should not ask for “Sana Lahat”)

My #CardoSavesTheDay posts on my social media accounts have brought in a lot of comments and reactions. The two most common responses I receive are: “Lodi talaga kita, Sir Cardo!” (You are my idol, Sir Cardo!), and “Sana Lahat…” (I wish all are the same”). I do appreciate these comments.

I liked that others get to admire him for what he does to me and for our relationship, but I would like to tell everyone that the Cardo I post on social media is not all that Cardo is. What I share publicly about my Cardo are only the good things.

“Problem comes when a person thinks a boyfriend or girlfriend walks on water and has no faults.” – Dan Chun

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The reasons why anyone should not say my Cardo (or any man) is “the ideal” are because:

1. Cardo is not perfect (no man is). He has flaws! There ARE things about him or things he do that I don’t like and somehow irritates me, which I don’t get to post on Facebook. These are the things that are so-not-Instagrammable about him. Being with Cardo for the past four months every single day (we live and work near each other) gives me the advantage to see him closely and know more about him. As the days go by, I can see how far he is from being perfect.

But, if you ask me, why I’m still staying with him? It’s because I can live with his imperfections. His flaws are not threats to my life and to our future family. In short, I can live with those flaws for the rest of my life.

Day by day, I look at his imperfections and instead of getting annoyed, I pray that God will allow me to see the beauty in his flaws, his quirks, and for who he really is versus who I want him to be. This is why I can post about his strengths and leverage on it rather than dwell on his weakness.

His love for God, controlled temper, patience, generosity, goals in life, and him being quick to admit his faults and ask for forgiveness, and many more builds up his character. The way he treats others, my family and his own, his superiors and those under him, is what wins me over. A good character is better than an imagined perfect man.

2. Cardo is a sinner. He has fallen short, he is falling short, and he will fall short from the glory of God. There are things he did in the past that he has shared with me which were not easy to embrace. In the four months that we are together, I see how he struggles with sin. And, I know, in the coming days, months, and even years, Cardo will still wrestle with sin.

Why am I staying with him? Because seeing him struggle with sin is a sign that he has not given in. He is fighting a good fight of faith! Cardo is not holy if left to his own strengths. But, I’m grateful that everyday he chose to be in Christ, for only Christ can set him apart.

Yes, Cardo is a sinner, but I don’t dwell much on how many times he sins or records his faults and shortcomings. Instead, I delight on the transforming and forgiving presence of Jesus that is in my Cardo. Every day, I get to tell him, “Mahal, I see Jesus Christ in you.”

Yes, Cardo is far from being a perfect saint, but he is a work in progress. I can look forward to the coming years with him because I know that God has better plans and future for him.

So, I disregard the idea of “Sana Lahat gaya ni Popoy ni Basha or Cardo ni Mona” because no man is perfect. Time will come that Cardo will fail me. Julius (Cardo’s real name) is not Jesus. Jesus is the only one who is perfect and worth imitating.

Julius is not Jesus. Jesus is the only one who is perfect and worth imitating.

Coming from a broken family and complicated relationships, I know that every day is not always rainbows and butterflies. There is no such thing as perfection in this world. I’m not a perfect woman too. I’ve learned to embrace imperfections, knowing that all things that God created is good and nothing is to be rejected but everything is to be received with thanksgiving. Cardo is God’s gift to me that’s why I always thank God for him with his flaws and all.

If you are a single person reading this and you hope to date a man/woman someday, be ready to date an imperfect sinner, because Mister/Miss Perfect is surely not existing.

If you are currently dating someone already, watch out for the red flags in the character of the one you are dating. Can you live with his character for the rest of your life? Do you think he/she will lead you and your future family to God? He may look like Popoy ni Basha but does not deserve any chance on you. 🙂